The beginnings of a MAN

OK, I'm biased. I only have sons. I do not know what it is like to have a daughter or "daddy's girl".

I have the honor of having TWO boys. My oldest son, with whom I've had many headbutts with over things in the past, is 11. We recently went hunting and I helped him take his first deer. BUT...this weekend, I saw the change in him to where he is now entering the realm of masculinity on his own terms.

My dad is good dad. He was a great provider, but we didn't 'play'. He worked A LOT and most of his free time at home was him being absorbed into a book, TV or his shop/hobbies of growing things. Occassionally, we would go fishing and I relished those times, however, we never did much together outside of that.

Now that I'm a dad, I'm making it more of a point to get out of the house and do things with my boys (hunting, yes fishing, etc.) I played football in highschool for 1/2 of my freshman year when I broke my tailbone. I wasn't really encouraged to 'get back on the horse' so I quit after that incident.

Steven is the exact opposite. He's done Karate, Tball, soccer, basketball, football and now wrestling; something I wouldn't have ever expected. All of the other sports are 'team' sports to where we always heard the following "they didn't give me the ball", "that team cheated", "they have a better coach". He's never known the pressure of it "all being up to him" before this weekend.

The first wrestling tournament of the season rolls around and he's nervous. I know he's been working hard as he's dripping with sweat when we pick him up from practice. Steven's never been too physical and has really approached sports from a 'fun' perspective, not ever really that hungry to win. This tournament was different.

When he got on the mat for his first match this weekend, Melissa and I were nervous. We really didn't know what to expect. Would he get hurt? Would he cry and embarrass himself? Would he want to quit if he got beat? I don't think anyone was more nervous than Steven. His coach asked him, right before his match "are you nervous?" and Steve says "YES!" His coach smacks him on top of the head with his clipboard and said "WELL DON'T BE!!" :D

The whistle blows and it's on! They immediately lock horns and go to the mat. His opponent scores 2 points off the cuff and Steven is face down on the matt. THEN...all of a sudden...I think a lightbulb came on in Steven's head. I saw him flex his muscles and the brute determination of knowing that it was ALL up to him manifested. He rolled over and got this kid PINNED!

WHISTLE!!! The first match was over and Steven was VICTORIOUS!!

The third match was the best (he lost #2). He was paired with the kid in his division that had lost all of his other matches. I cautioned Steven to NOT get cocky and that this kid was MAD and looking for a win. His opponent was leading 5-4 in the third round of their match and Steven was face down on the mat with this kid and all of his weight on his back. Steven's coach was about 6 ft away and said in a calm, but loud voice "STEVEN, USE YOUR LEGS!"

I swear the little bugger smiled, tucked his legs underhimself, PICKED THIS KID UP, grabbed his knee and TOOK HIM DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWN. The pin was about 5 seconds later and my little boy, my sweet little wide-eyed, silent in amazement of this new world after he was born, diddle bug.....HAD DEFEATED HIS OPPONENT AND KNEW, KNEW, that it was HE who was responsible for that win, and HE ALONE! Not a team victory. Not the 'star' player who he helpled get the touchdown, it was .............. MY SON! I swear to all things holy he walked off that mat an INCH taller and PROUD of what his hard work and determination had done. He won and at his own hand.

I am fully aware of most of the things I've done wrong as a Dad. I recognize (usually too late) when I'm too hard on him. But I CANNOT be more proud of him than I am right now.

He IS, has ALWAYS BEEN, and WILL ALWAYS be a champion and a MAN in my eyes.

I love you, son and I am SO proud of you..

-Dad.